01.11.21 - 30.11.21
November hasn´t been going as I expected and hoped for. I had such plans for the beginning of the month and everything just fell apart from the first day 😭 This whole month has been filled with pain and tears and has been a total nightmare of mine. I´ve been feeling really angry and disappointed with myself and everything 😖 I like to think that everything happens for a reason and is good for something. Even the bad moments usually end up playing an important role in the bigger picture, but I´m really struggling this time😒 I can´t think of anything this could´ve been useful for..
01.11.21: Triinu came to visit me!! 💛 She´s finally here 🎉🎉 I went to pick her up from the airport with Àlex and his brother. We had to wait a little less than an hour, since the plane was late and everybody had to go through FCS form check. We got back to the house at half past 1 😴 Next day we woke up early and started to prep for our day 😁 I made a whole list with activities and places to visit. Everything was planned out and we even had some extra options if we should run out of attractions 😄 The first was Placa d´Espanya and everything close by like MNAC and Montjuic castle etc. We left a little before 12 with Àlex and from there on my nightmare started.. We managed to walk not even a 100 meters from the house when I fell.. The pavement was fine and all straight, but there was a little difference of height between the pavement and the road I think and somehow I stepped right on that part. My ankle snapped and I fell on my knees 😰😬 I knew right then and there what had happened and what´s next since I´d been through this before. It sends a shiver down my spine even thinking about it on a normal day 😖 Anyway I knew I tore my ligaments again and had to go to the ER. The pain was excruciating and tears were falling down my face uncontrollably. Àlex and Triinu helped me back to the house and fortunately Àlex´s parents were in town so his mother drove me to the emergency room. A nurse there found me a wheelchair and tried to comfort me while checking me in. She was so kind and nice to me the whole time I was there. They took 2 X-rays of my foot and put some kind of a bandage on. The doctor told me to put some ice on the foot, take some painkillers and that I should be fine in 10 days 😂😑 I told him it´s not the first time for this to happen, but I guess it didn´t matter. I knew nevertheless that this is gonna take another 6 months to heal 😭 It was the third time I tore my right ankle, and fourth time for allover. I was still in a shock and pissed at everything. Triinu had the chance to use her Spanish skills, she found me crutches and after that we took a taxi home. I spent the day icing my foot and trying to think what´s next. I talked everything through with my parents and decided to buy a flight back home. That way at least I could let my doctor check everything and maybe get some answers.
02.11.21: Àlex was calling to different places yesterday to find me a wheelchair. He found one and went to pick it up with Triinu in the morning. It was quite okay, so we decided to give it a try after breakfast 💪 We took a metro to the city centre and Triinu pushed me around in Barrio Gótico. We spent maybe 3 hours outside and decided to go back home after that because it got cold very quickly for me. At least I knew how to dress for the next day 👍 It was quite difficult to move around sometimes, but people were super helpful all the time and made sure I was taken care of 😊
03.11.21: Since I couldn´t go to school yesterday I definitely wanted to go today. Àlex´s mother took me there and picked me up later. My teacher knew I hurt myself and she gave me a key for the elevator in the school 👍 Usually it´s locked and meant for special use only. After school Triinu and I went back to the streets 😇
We visited Gaudí´s Casa Vicens and other cool houses and ended the day at Boldu where we bought two star shaped doughnuts 😊😋🍩
Casa Vicens and Triinu with doughnuts from Boldu
06.11.21: Àlex had a padel tournament and took me with him to see him play 🎾 He was really excited for all of it because it was his first time playing in a tournament. I wasn´t too excited to go at first, but ended up having a good time. I sat in my wheelchair and took some videos of him 📸
07.11.21: Triinu went for a walk and returned with doughnuts 😋🍩 They were literally bigger than my hand 😳😂 I´d seen these before when walking around the Lesseps, but I never got to try them. The doughnut was covered in chocolate and had pieces of cookies on top which were covered in white chocolate. It tasted extremely sweetly and took me a while to finish.
10.11.21: It was time to fly back home with Triinu. Our flight left super early in the morning so I´d booked a cab for us 💪 The drive to the airport was very comfortable and cool.. we were in a Tesla 3. I´d never seen one before and it was definitely an experience 🙈 The car was so quiet and glided through the city. Then in the airport we found the Ryanair information table and asked for the help service I booked the day before. I was jumping around with crutches and it wasn´t even thinkable for me to jump through the whole airport and up and down the stairs where needed. So I asked for special help and an airport worker came with a wheelchair. I literally got the full VIP service 😄 The worker took us to a special elevator and we drove past every queue they had. I´ve never gotten through the security check and all that so quickly 😂 And after that he took an electric car and drove us to the gate. I chatted with him for some time and found out he´s from Italy. He was so nice and wished me well 😊 We boarded the plane among the last passengers, but still had to wait quite some time before I could sit down. The flight went by rather fast and then we took a bus to Tartu and a car to home 🚌🚗
11.11.21: The first thing in the schedule was my doctor´s appointment 🏥 It was the first time I saw my foot after 10 days and it was absolutely horrifying 😱😳 My leg had never been that swollen before and the colour of my ankle made me wanna cry 😬 It was blue, purple and yellow. The bruise on the right side of my leg was huge, the whole foot was covered almost, and I could barely move my toes. Doctor sent me downstairs for an X-ray, but told me the same as before that the bone is fine, but to know more I´d need a MRT. I went home and started looking for orthopedists and traumatologists. I sent out 2-3 emails and hoped for the best 🤞
14.11.21: Triinu came and visited me 😊 We hanged out on the balcony for some time and talked about life. It was so funny, we looked like a couple of old grandmas sitting on the balcony while chatting. We ate some cherries my mom had made in the summer and it was time for Triinu to go back to Pärnu.
15.11.21 - 16.11.21: I got a call from a clinic where I´d sent an email asking about a doctor, but they told me he had no available times till January 😬 Then out of nowhere I got an email the next day that I have an appointment for the 18th..? It must´ve been one of those automatic emails I sent out asking for appointments and overall help. Besides that I had called to a doctor who I´d found and had an appointment with him too. So I ended up with two specialists 👍 I thought about canceling one, but something inside me told me not to do that..
17.11.21 - 19.11.21: I spent the days studying everything I´d missed already, but my motivation´s barely here 😕 It´s rather hard to do everything on my own and teach the language to myself when I should be learning it with my classmates. I had a quick talk with my teacher too, she´s doing everything possible to upload all the materials online and told me I can write her if I need something 👍
Besides all the studying I also had my doctor´s appointment. They didn´t even let me enter before I´d payed. And after that begun the coldest doctor´s visit I´ve ever had. He basically told me no to walk around stones and tree roots if I fall that easily. Like WTF?! 😑😠 He didn´t let me explain anything and was just talking alone basically. I came out of the office with tears in my eyes and with no solution to my problems or any hope for the future. I fell apart later in the evening, but felt grateful that I trusted my gut and kept the other appointment.
23.11.21: We bought the tickets for me to go back to Barcelona!! 😆 And even better.. my mom is coming with me 😁😍 I´m so excited to show her the city and introduce her to everyone. She´s gonna stay for a week and make sure I return safely. I´m glad that I don´t have to fly alone and there´s someone with me if I need help 👍 I think my ankle should be a bit better already when we leave next month. Our flight leaves on 15th and she´ll be back home for Christmas. It´s gonna be so fun to "walk" around and show her exactly every little thing that I like and dislike about the city 😁😇
25.11.21: It was time for the other doctor´s appointment. I was glad to go and get a second opinion, but at the same time I was feeling extremely anxious 😟 When I first arrived at the waiting room I was excited, but then the fear kicked in. My hands started trembling and heart was beating like crazy. Then finally a somebody opened the door and invited me in. I explained everything to the doctor, he listened and made notes, even asked some questions. It was totally different compared to the other appointment 😌💪 The doctor was kind and empathic. He did everything I hoped for and even more. I got appointments for magnetic therapy, physiotherapy and for MRT. The last one was the one thing what I´d been hoping for since the beginning. I was so happy that finally someone cared and wasn´t treating me like I´m waisting their time. Also I found out that the last time when the same thing happened I had a fracture somewhere besides the torn ligaments, but no one told me! 😧 I found out now years later..which to be honest is not quite okay.
26.11.21: I had the first physiotherapy session. I had my ankle checked out, learned some new exercises for my foot, and got to try all of them. The therapist told me that there might be something wrong with the cartilage also besides the ligaments 😬 And basically when I can start doing the balance exercises, that I´ll probably have to do those every day for the rest of my life 😮 It really sounded like my ankle is done, but I won´t know anything for sure after the MRT.
It started snowing in the evening. At first slightly and then a bit more, and suddenly the whole garden was covered in soft snow 😍⛄ I took some photos and videos and made a reel about it. My dogs were rather excited about the snow 😄🐶 They were running around and jumping up by the window.
27.11.21: There was even more snow in the morning than the evening before. The whole garden looked like out of a fairytale 😍 I felt a bit sad that I couldn´t go outside and walk around with the dogs 😞 They were having so much fun digging through mountains that were shoved together for them 😄 Then out of a nowhere there was no more electricity in the house. I didn´t stay at the house to find out what´s happening neither. We took a car and drove to the city. My mother was working, so I wanted to check out the store where she was before I went back to Spain. I bought some really cool socks and saw the rest of my order we made together😆 She ordered some socks for me, Àlex and for herself - I have enough till 2023 for sure 😂
In the evening we watched Ice age for the 100th time and enjoyed some family time together 💛 After that I also watched a movie with Àlex. My ankle felt really sore throughout the day and got worse in the evening. Maybe I tried too hard at the physiotherapy and my foot got tired..
29.11.21: I had the first magnetic therapy session. It took 30 minutes - my foot was put inside a metal ring and I laid down on the bed. The nurse said that I might feel some tingling. I´m not sure if I imagined it, but I definitely felt something 😄 It was like a warm wave at first and then some pulling around the ankle and then it was gone after a few minutes. Later on I didn´t feel much, just that my toes got cold and I got sleepy. And then suddenly it was all done, half an hour went by in just a second. I read online that usually patients start to feel some improvement after the third session, so we´ll see if something changes or not.
30.11.21: I felt something again during the second magnetic therapy, even a bit more than the first time. It was like this tingling feeling around my ankle, but after maybe 10 minutes it was gone. Maybe I shouldn´t move my leg as much as I did..? Or maybe you don´t feel the waves throughout the session. After that my foot felt better for couple hours, but then it started to hurt a lot 😬 The pain was worse than the day before, and seemed to get worse by the hour. I really struggled with my exercises even. Gotta ask about the pain during my next session.
Hasta la próxima! 😊
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